Today i discovered the cure-all for those “ugly” days. You’ve tried miracle creams, DIY remedies, and expensive procedures …nothing seems to help. You’re still plain ugly. Well, hideous girl, if you’re suffering from the thought of terrifying children or scarring someone’s retina with your gnarly looks, have no fear! There is still hope…and this time it doesn’t come in a bottle. “What??,” you ask… “no bottle?!?” That’s right my diva wanna-be’s…this remedy comes in a bag. It’s called the Ugly Bag, an instant solution to your unsightly looks. Application is quite easy – just slip it on over your disfigured noddle and let your new life begin. Tiffany, formerly known as “monkey dog” is raving about her new product: “At first, I had a hard time dealing with the side effects. It was hard to breathe and I kind of missed seeing stuff, too. Once I got past all that, I realized that it’s totally worth it. I’ve never felt better about myself.” Lydia, former garbage lady, now on Maxim’s hot 100 list says “It’s great! It’s really changed ….(words-too-muffled-to-understand).” So, women of the world, do not delay in getting your ugly bag. It will be the best $1.99 you’ve ever spent…and who knows how much your life could change.
P.S. – Men, don’t worry, there is also a male version of the ugly bag.