on losing my muchness

As a child, I thought grown-ups had it all figured out. They were the lucky ones. No school, no homework, no petty arguments with friends. They had jobs that were fun, had what seemed like an endless supply of money, and were allowed into those mysterious places for only the 21+ group. An adult – that’s surely what I wanted to be!

When I was a non-adult, my problems seemed so apocalyptic. If things weren’t fixed with (BFF’s name) now, if  (boy’s name) didn’t like me, or if I didn’t make cheerleader….well surely my world would end right then and there! Now that I’m what society deems an adult, I’m not so sure about the young-Whitney’s certainties.

You see kids, being an adult isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Now instead of counting fractions, I’m counting calories. And instead of counting down the days to summer freedom,  I watch the minutes go by until 6:00 so I can be free from the chains of work and go to bed. What I used to think were copious amounts of money are really just tiny amounts that go toward rent and student loans and cell phones and gas…and then if enough is left over, food (and of course a drink).

The truth is that young-Whitney was much muchier than present day-Whitney. Even with all the drama that a preteen girl can admit to, young-Whitney’s mind was still racing with ideas, creativity, wonder and dreams. She taught me that life always goes on, now matter how big your problems seem to be. The world won’t stop turning because things don’t go your way. That is muchy! But now that muchy has jumped-ship. I blame it on the perils of adulthood, but really there is no reason to lose muchness….not for me, not for anyone. So I’m working on getting that muchness back.

And if the biggest problem I’ll ever have is whether I should choose a salad over a hamburger, well then I’d say I’m pretty damn lucky.

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